Well here I am, procrastinating instead of the doing History coursework I should have handed in over a week ago...
I had a violin lesson this morning with Harry. Today's lesson was all about "pushing Abi into the right kind of technique, which will make her violin playing ten times more marvellous", as I heard Harry telling my father afterwards whilst I went back upstairs to grab my abandoned coat... Before I even heard this I knew the objective of the lesson whilst I was having it. It was that hard to tell really... I didn't mind at all. I'm welcome to anything that will improve my playing. I'm so desperate to be good at playing the violin. More than even I believe sometimes... Hardly anyone can see it. My father certainly can't. I think he's under the illusion that I only practise violin so much because he nags me to. Although I don't mind, because it urges me to practise even more, and he does provide so much for me, so I can hardly complain. Every time I meet I Harry I'm filled with ambition and urgency to be a better violinist. He's had such an amazing life, met so many amazing musicians, played everywhere, taught the best, witnessed the best... Although somehow, he never boasts. When I'm older, if I had a fraction of the life that he's had, I would be boasting until the cows came home. Being with him, I believe that I will do anything to succeed, and that having his sort of life is the only thing I could ever want. I can't desrcibe how much this idea thrills me. I don't want to end up a wash out... I know everyone says that when they're my age, regardless of what their ambitions are, but I have such a need to be a musician that doing anything else in my life as a career seems almost repulsive.
So many people say how impossible it is to be a successful, true classical musician these days. How that everyone is drawn to 'pop music' and that no one has time for classical music or musicians anymore. This thought depresses me so much. Many violin teachers, even Harry to an extent, are telling their pupils to stay away from becoming professional classical musicians. However, I think Harry has already given up on trying to convince me with how obliviously determined I am... I hope that they are wrong. I need them to be wrong.
P.S - I will be uploading a post about the camping trip soon. I just needed to rant about this first...
Abi x
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*hugs tightly*
ReplyDeleteI understand.
xox
You know, I think Harry isn't trying to convince you not to become a classical musician because for you, it's not just a pipe dream. You're not like other students who play just for fun or aren't very good, and you've got a real future in music. There's always going to be people wanting to hear classical music, and there'll always be a gap for amazing musicians. I don't see any reason why you won't be able to fill that gap.
ReplyDeleteAs for people telling you not to fulfil your dream, maybe they're trying to get you down if they're not happy with how things turned out, or maybe they've just had some bad experiences. But it's up to you to prove them wrong and do what you want to do. =D
Sam
This totally reminds me to tell you:
ReplyDeleteI was talking to BitchMouth, and he was dumbing himself down loads to the point that I could've stomped on his head. We were talking about how Oxford and Cambridge don't necessarily want all-rounders, but people that specialize. For example, me with my English and him with his Music. He was saying that he couldn't over and over again, so I blurted out "DON'T BE SO ANNOYING!" to which he responds with "I'm not being annoying, I'm being realistic." This got me going because last time he said that was about you not being able to become a violinist (as I told you before). So I mentally exploded and kept my composure. I snapped "Well you said that about Abi not being a violinist and then you auditioned for Chetham's which I found really hypocritical." He shut up, but we were soon talking again about Henri calling Lucy's thighs big.
Proud of me? x