Meh

Why have I become like this? I hate it. So stupidly overly-sensetive. One tiny negative comment (even in joke form) has me in tears. And every bad event lately has just been turning around in my head. I hate it. Why can't I stop it?

For example, last week we had a school production of Les Mis. I was playing violin in the orchestra for it, sitting next to and sharing a stand with Mr Roberts, my other violin teacher in school. In the last five years we've become really close, but now for some reason he's ignoring me. Well not blatantly ignoring me. Just hardly speaking to me and treating me like a stupid child when he does. It's not nice. I don't know what I've done... I had a violin lesson with him yesterday, and we sight read some duets together. To begin with he told me that the absolute worst thing about last week was my dreaful page-turning, and my lack of empathy with other players and the singers. He also said I might as well shouldn't've been there. Ouch. I almost burst into tears, but I held it back. Why am I like this? Whenever the slightest negative comment is said about my violin playing I break down. Then, as you can imagine, it was impossible for me to sight read then. I got into a complete nervous wreck and asked to leave the lesson early. I NEVER do that. Meh. I'm such a mess. Then I went back to welsh and Miss Evans screamed at me for talking to Kieran, so then that pushed me over the edge, and I started crying. Quietly into my jumper... I hope no one noticed... Argh! I'm so pathetic.

It's just loads of little things that people have said that don't mean anything that have driven me to feeling this way. I want it to stop.

I can't even handle teasing anymore. I know I'm not very smart, or pretty, or the sort of person who achieves many things. And I've always been fine with that. But now I'm not. Moo.

Sorry for being so depressing. I'm sure it'll blow over soon.

Kindest Regards, Abi.